I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
