ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
