can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
