Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize