All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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