I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
