I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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