I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
be right there i have to get my cape
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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