his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Did I show you my penis last night?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
