Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
