Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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