in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
