I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
