Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
