turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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