You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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