Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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