she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
