I'm jealous of your bromance
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
