Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
