I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
