whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
