she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize