He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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