New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
