I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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