shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
