I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
