am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
