Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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