She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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