it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
