i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
