I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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