i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
