Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
