I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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