my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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