is your mom at the bar?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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