You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
