he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
