I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I stole a fireplace last night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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