Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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