I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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