took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
