No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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