Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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