Sponge bath it is.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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