i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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