GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
