Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
