You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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