i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
