I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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