I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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