I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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