..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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