found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
