I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
