hotel room ftw
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
