Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize