We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
