talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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