She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
