My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
