remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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