Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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