i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
