just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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